-那有点恐怖 -别再吓我了 - that's a little scary. - stop trying to wear me out.
知道吗 我觉得你对"跟踪者"一点都不敏感 I think-you know, you have a real hang-up with the term "stalker."
不 我只是没留意你每天在我博物馆里出现 No, l just fail to see how you showing up at my museum evey day...
大约两周吧 我一直都被人跟踪着 For, like, two weeks makes me the stalker...
现在明白那个人就是你 When clearly it makes you the stalker.
最重要的是 记住 把手伸给我 The most important thing to remember here- hand, please.
这过去的两个月... These past two months...
是你这一生当中 Have really, truly been the happiest two months...
最快乐的两个月 - of your life. -
-我爱你 -我也爱你 -给 - l love you. - love you too. - there you go.
等等 对不起 王八蛋 W-wait. excuse me. son of bitch.
我一直和他说别加橄榄 I keep telling this guy no olives...
他还老是加橄榄 这是个问题 因为 And he keeps bringing me olives, and that's a problem because-
-你不喜欢橄榄 -我讨厌橄榄 我讨厌橄榄 -you hate olives. - l hate olives! l hate olives.
别动 我来搞定 Don't move. l'm on it.
看 危机解除了 There. crisis averted.
知道吗 通常我会觉得很恶心 You know, usually l would be completely disgusted...
要是有人把手指伸进我的饮料里 不过对于你 With someone sticking their fingers into my drink, but with you,
就另当别论 not so much.
实际上 还在里面融入了梅林达的味道 In fact, it, uh- mmm. it adds a certain melinda ''zestiness'' to it.
这么说 我们还真是天造地设的一对啊 Well, we make a good team.
确实如此 Yes, we do.
我去下洗手间 Well, l am going to go powder my nose.
帮个忙 要是服务生过来 Oh. do me a favor- if the waiter comes back...
你千万别让他在我蛋糕里再加橄榄 Would you make sure there are no olives in my cake?
我喜欢这样 I like that.
思朋斯 思朋斯 好了 兄弟 是时候了 Spence! Spence. all right, man, it's time.
-什么时候 -我要求婚了 - time for what? - it's time for me to get engaged.
记得吗 你把这个放在她的圣代里 You were gonna put this in her sundae, remember?
-哦 对 钻石真漂亮 - oh, yeah. right. nice rock.
-谢谢 Oh. thanks.
伙计 Oh, boy.
不好意思 我的鼻子堵住了 Oh. sorry. it was packed.
我不得不对着镜子折腾了好久 l just had to fight for a mirror.
来了 圣代是这位先生的 Here we are. a sundae for the gentleman.
巧克力蛋糕是这位女士的 And chocolate cake for the lady.
实际上 我觉得是她点了圣代 我要了蛋糕 Actually, l think that she had the sundae and l had the cake.
哦 对 Oh, okay, yeah. got it.
那么 梅尔 So, Mel...
我很高兴你能和我在一起 I'm glad you stalked me...
因为... cause, um...
以前我从未遇见像你这样的... I never met anyone like you before...
虽然我 我知道... And l, uh- l know that...
我们才约会不久 但... We've only been dating a little while, but...
我就觉得 我从一出生 I just feel like l have known you my-
就已经认识你了 My-my whole- my whole life.
你嚼了吗 Are you chewing that?
哦 我的天哪 上帝啊 Oh, my god! praise Jesus!
上帝啊 加尔文 我知道是你做的 Praise Jesus! oh, Calvin! l knew you'd do it.
稍等一下 把那个给我 Excuse me one second.Just wanna take that-
我要找个东西 Just a little quick search for something.
等一下 我马上回来 All right. be right back.
-我要给我妈打个电话 -你好 -I'm calling mama. - hi. hi.
-对不起 我觉得有点小误会 -妈妈 - l'm sorry. l think there's been a mistake. - mama!
我马上要结婚了 妈妈 I'm getting married, mama.
-女士 女士 -不好意思 那戒指是我的 Ma'am? ma'am? pardon me. pardon me. that's my ring.
稍等 妈妈 Hang on, mama.
有什么事吗 May l help you?
是的 Yes.
很抱歉 我觉得服务生 L'm so sory, but l think the waiter...
给你的圣代拿错了 Mistakenly brought you the wrong sundae.
你瞧 那是我奶奶的戒指 You see, that-that's my grandmother's ring.
我建议你最好在我未婚夫没发飙之前 I think you better go sit over there before my fiance? here...
滚回自己的座位去 'whups' your ass.
要不这样 你们晚餐算我请 如何 Okay, how about l buy both of your dinners?
好吗 好 不过我得先把那个拿回来 Good? yes. except l'm gonna need that back though, so-
宝贝 揍他 okay, baby, ''whup'' his ass!
-宝贝 这东西是 -这东西... - uh, baby, the thing is- - the thing is...
是我等了17年而你没给我的东西 I haven't waited 17 years on your sorry ass...
别让这个白种垃圾破坏了我的订婚仪式 To let this white shadow come and spoil my engagement.
加尔文 要是你不揍这小子 It's either you whup his ass, Calvin...
我就揍你 Or l'll whup yours.
没错 你马上给我离开 Yeah. you need to go now.
-好吧 -妈妈 是的 - right. - mama? yes!
这样 不如 Ok，Um, how about-
戒指很漂亮 来人啊 抓贼啊 It's beautiful. Theif，they help!
把戒指还给我 give me my ring!
把戒指还给我 Give me my ring!
我没想到会变成这样 Well, this wasn't exactly what l had planned.
听着 我们在一起时间不长... Look. l know we haven't been together long...
但你知道当真爱来临时 But you know when something just feels right...
你总是希望它一直到天长地久 And you don't want that feeling to end?
行了 罗密欧 留着对你狱友讲吧 Okay, Romeo, save it for your cell mate.
等下 克莱希 让他说完 Whoa. Clancy. give the kid a minute.
-多谢 -没关系 -thank you. - no problem.
长话短说 我爱你 Long story short. l love you.
-我也爱你 -你愿意 - l love you. - will, uh-
你愿意 Will you, uh-
-愿意嫁给我吗 -是的 我愿意 - will you marry me? - yes, l will marry you.
行了 恭喜你们 Okay. congrats and all that.
你有权保持沉默 You have the right to remain silent.
但你所说一切都将成为呈堂证供 Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.
我得走了 I'm gonna go now.
伙计 你要和我过不去吗 Dude, are you fuckin' with me?
德里克 用"恭喜"来回答比较恰当 Congratulations'' might be the more appropriate response here, Derek.
你才和她约会了两个月 You've only dated her for two months.
我这唇疱疹还得了不止两个月呢 I've had this cold sore longer than that.
这就是一个结过三次婚的男人的经验吗 This coming from a guy who's been married three times.
兄弟 你就没能从我身上吸取教训吗 Have you learned nothing from me, man?
我可是前车之鉴 I am a cautionary tale.
我是耶稣 我替你承担你的罪过 I am Jesus. l have suffered for your sins.
希望只是放屁 please let that be a fart.
耶 宝贝 看到了吧 窝囊废 Yeah, baby! suck it, losers.
显然不只是在放屁 Okay.that was definitely not a fart.
你知道 You know,
那"婊子"喂这小东西印度料理纯粹是要整我 l think that ''biatch'' is feeding this thing indian food just to screw with me.
你还真拉屎了 Yeah, you did a poop.
要我帮你们也换换吗 Any of you need changing?
-塞思在哪儿 他来了吗 -Hey, where's, uh，where's Seth? he's up.
他忙着找球 没时间回去拿自己的球 He's looking for a ball. didn't have time to stop at home and get his.
这是保龄球馆 找个球有那么难吗 We're in a bowling alley. how hard is it to find a ball?
好的 我来了 All right! I'll take it!
抱歉 伙计们 今晚我进伤病名单 Sorry, fellas. l'm on the d.l. tonight.
伙计 保龄球比赛好像没有伤病名单的 I don't think there's a disabled list for rec league bowling, buddy.
罗恩 你怎么能把我丢给这两个失败者呢 Ron, how can you abandon me with these two losers?
我没有丢弃谁 I'm not abandoning anybody.
我结婚并不意味着我以后就不来这 Just 'cause l'm getting married doesn't mean l'm not gonna be here for
参加保龄球赛 bowling night...
周末钓鱼 或詹森一年两次的色情杂志展 Or fishing weekend or jason's biannual ''porno palooza.''
你知道 什么都不会变 You know, nothing's gonna change.
是的 我也是这么想的 Yeah. well, that's what l thought.
先失陪了 我去拿个机器 Now if you'll excuse me, l gotta get little shit machine...
回他该死的妈妈那儿去 Back to his gold-digging whore of a mother, huh?
别忘了把自己的球带走啊 Hey, don't forget your ball.
我正和市长商量... I was talking with the mayor...
并告诉他把招待会放在剧场举行 And l put a bug in his ear about having the reception at the opera house.
你知道 妈妈 我们想搞个简单的婚礼 You know, mom, we were thinking of having a small, simple wedding.
坦白说 梅林达 Honestly, Melinda.
我们不是严紧派教徒 We're not Amish.
我去开门 l'll get it.
我的妹妹终于订婚了 Oh, my little sister's engaged!
你真漂亮 Hi, beautiful.
-你好 托德 -不好意思 我听不见 - hi, Todd. - sorry. l can't hear.
他一直都在忙 He's always working.
让我问你个问题 Let me ask you something.
想上小姨子可以吗 Is it wrong to want to tap sister-in-law ass?
好吧 我得挂了 Right. oh. l gotta go.
亲爱的 honey.
-什么 -这让你想起我们的订婚了吗 - yes? - does this remind you of when we got engaged?
-我怎能忘记呢 -我们再去渡次蜜月吧 - how could l forget? - let's go on a second honeymoon.
去些浪漫的地方 说不定生出个胖娃娃 Some place romantic. maybe make a baby.
你爸在那儿 Hey, there's your dad.
嘿 亚伯 Hey. Abe.
听说那个好色骑师和委内瑞拉马童的事吗 Did you hear the one about the horny jockey and the venezuelan stable boy?
没有 不过我很想听听 No, but l think l like it already.
真好吃 it's delicious.
嗨 伙计们 hi, guys.
说英语 英语 Speak English, huh? English!
去看电视吧 Look, go watch some tv, huh?
-他们真可爱 -真是抱歉 - they're so cute. - sorry about that.
他们是我第二任老婆生的 They're from the second marriage.
前妻只让讲普通话 真让人受不了 The ex only lets them speak to me in mandarin, the hairy ass crack.
总之 anyway
-恭喜你们 -谢谢 - congratulations. - oh. thank you.
-给 -当然 - here. - oh. sure.
宝贝过得好吗 How's my baby?
我妈老要跟我说婚礼的事烦死我了 My mother's killing me with wedding crap.
要我再熬一年 我实在是受不了 l seriously don't think l can take another year of this.
我们私奔好了 Mmm. well, we could just elope, of course.
那她会杀了我们的 Then she'd kill both ofus.
你干什么呢 What are you doing?
你 You.
-宝贝 我们都穿长裤 -哦 那正好 - mmm! baby, we're in the panty. - oh! that's a good point.
你在干吗 What are you doing?
-哦 天哪 -性爱电梯 叮 - oh, mygod. - # sex elevator# ding.
你真傻 You are so stupid.
嘿 伙计 你自己去买点会死吗 Hey. would it kill you to buy some groceries, man?
对 如果神秘家布满会场 我会的 Yeah, if the mystics would cover the god damn spread, l could.
神秘家 你在WNBA上下注了 The mystics? you're bettin' on the w.n.b.a.?
你好 Mm-hmm. well, hello.
你好 我是朱迪思 梅尔的同事 Hi. l'm-l'mjudith. l-l work with mel.
你好 朱迪思 我是詹森 Oh, hey,judith. l'm Jason.
我是罗恩最好的朋友 我们从小玩到大 I'm, uh, Ron's best friend- since childhood.
这位是塞思 他的大学室友 Yeah. and this is Seth, his college roommate.
那位是德里克 是他的老上司 And that's Derek. used to be his boss. yeah.
-你们从事金融业? -实际上我从事消费品测试 - are you all in finance? - actually, l'm in consumer products testing.
-德里克 你还和罗恩一起工作吗 -不 我 -Derek, do you still work with Ron? - no. I, uh-
我离开那家公司有一阵子了... I left that company a while back...
不过 我依然在从事金融业 But, uh, l'm still in finance,you know.
知道吗 她内裤有松树味空气清新剂的味道 I'm telling you, man, she had a pine tree air freshener in her underpants.
我得挂了 gotta go.
-你做什么的 -我是从事广告业的 - what do you do? - l am in the advertising game.
-广告? - advertising?
听起来挺刺激的 that sounds exciting.
没错 的确如此 It is. yeah, it is.
朱迪思 你是梅尔的朋友 而我是罗恩的朋友 You know,judith, you're a friend of mel's and l'm a friend of ron's...
所以我觉得我们应该在一起 So l'm thinkin' we should get together.
你知道 或许一起吃个比萨 然后做爱 You know, maybe- maybe grab a pizza, fuck.
不愿意? 你不喜欢吃比萨 No? you don't like pizza?
说真的 有谁不喜欢比萨 Seriously, who doesn't like pizza?
嘿 大家安静一下 Hey, uh, eveyone? eveyone, um-
我不知道该怎么说 但... I don't know how to say this, but...
我和梅尔在婚礼颜色上不能达成一致 Mel and l simply could not come to an agreement on our wedding colors...
所以我们决定分手 So we are breaking up.
实在抱歉 大家回去路上小心驾驶 Vey sorry. eveyone drive safe.
欢迎回来 伙计 - yes! welcome back, buddy.
他是在开玩笑 He was kid- he was kidding.
对不起 梅尔 - - sorry, mel.
没事 It's okay.
总之 两个月前... Anyway, uh, two short months ago...
我走进入克利夫兰现代艺术博物馆 I wandered into the cleveland museum of modern art.
毫无疑问 我迷路了 但就在这时... I was, of course, lost, um, but then...
我看到了最好的展品 就是梅尔 I laid eyes on the best exhibit in the whole joint- mel.
我知道两个月就订婚时间很短 Uh, no, l know that two months is an awfully short time to get engaged...
但 说实话 我第一天就准备向她求婚了 But, to be honest with you, l was ready to propose on that first day.
更不必说... So needless to say...
梅尔向我求婚了 我立马答应 When mel proposed, l said yes.
我不想让她有时间 - - l didn't want to give her time...
改变主意 所以我们就选了个良辰吉日 To change her mind, so we have set a date.
5月31日 从今天算起 一个月后... On may 31 , one month from today...
欢迎各位来宾参加我们的露天派对 You are all invited to our open bar-
这也是婚礼的一部分 不过 你知道 - which will also feature a wedding, but, you know- -
我就讲到这了 大家不醉不归 All right, let's get drunk.
嘿 德里克 Hey, uh, derek?
你的孩子怎么坐在那儿 Why is your kid dropping a deuce in that plant?
天哪 快停下来 巴哈 Jesus! stop it! bah! bah!
亚伯 我看过了上季度的季报 Now, abe, l've taken a look at the numbers for last quarters.
我们有些不良资产 看看这里 I think we've got some dead weight. here, look.
看看这个 Take a look at this.
-嘿 伙计们 -罗恩 进来吧 - hey, hey, fellas. -Ron, come in.
-亚伯 你喜欢喝威士忌 对吧 -当然 -Abe, you're a whiskey man, is that right? - absolutely.
那好 我给你倒一杯了 All right, l got something here for you.
让我尝尝这酒 What have we got here?
噢 太好喝了 这是什么酒 Oh, that's nice. what is this?
詹姆森家的30年私人珍藏 Jameson's 30-year private reserve.
我是半个爱尔兰人 所以我得支持祖国 我带给你一瓶 I'm half lrish, so l gotta support the motherland. l brought you a bottle.
你是爱尔兰人? 我妈妈来自戈尔韦 You're irish? my mother's from Galway.
家里又多了个爱尔兰血统的 真是太好了 Geez, it's gonna be great to get some more irish blood in the family here.
你知道 托德是英国人 但我们不考虑那些 You know, todd here is english, but we try not to think about that.
-你喜欢古巴雪茄吗 -喜欢 - you like cubans? - uh, yes.
-谢谢 -据我所知 罗恩... - thank you. - from what l understand, ron...
你是个搞数据的人 You're a, uh-you're a numbers man.
没错 先生 我是个金融顾问 Yes, sir. l'm a financial consultant.
我也是搞数据出身 I started out as a numbers man.
事实上 罗恩 你让我想起年轻时的自己 In fact, ron, you remind me a lot of myself when l was a young man.
我们公司总是欢迎搞数据的人 We can always use more numbers men in the company.
你知道 现在那些让人讨厌的律师太多了 You know, it's overrun now with too man goddamn lawyers.
托德 我没有恶意 No offense, todd.
毕竟 这是家族企业 After all, it is a family business.
先生 谢谢您这么看得起我 Well, uh, thankyou, sir. it's a vey generous offer.
不要叫先生 亚伯 叫我亚伯 No, no, no. abe. you call me abe.
看起来你需要再喝些 托德 Looks likeyou need a refill. todd!
-是的 先生 -让我们再去喝点你那瓶酒 - yes, sir? - let's go find that bottle of yours, huh?
-看好这个 好么 - take care of that, would you? -
罗恩 So, ron,
听说那个好色骑师和委内瑞拉马童的事吗 have you heard the one about the horny jockey and the venezuelan stable boy?
没有 但听上去不怎么好 No, but it sounds painful.
已经过去几个月了 Lt's been a great couple of months...
老实说 到目前为止你们是 And l can honestly say that you are the best two interns...
所有实习者中最好的两个了 We have ever had here.
不幸的事 我们只能雇佣一人 Unfortunately, we can only hire one of you.
所以 我们只要最优秀的实习生 So... iet the best intern win!
麦克希 用力 用力 Get in there, maxie! get in there!
再猛一些 再猛一些 Get angy! get angy!
这个真受罪 - oh, that's not good. -
-你好 -罗恩 我是托德 - y'ello. - ronny, it's todd.
你好托德 有什么事情么 Oh, hey, todd. what-what's goin' on?
我想问问你的单身派对 有什么计划 Oh,just a little thing called your bachelor party. so what's the game plan?
还没计划 L, uh, don't know.
我那帮伙计喜欢在斯潘基酒吧看艳舞 My buddies are big fans of''two-for-tuesday'' lap dances at spanky's.
罗恩 这是你最后一次单身狂欢 Listen, ron, this is your last hurrah.
我们要让它别具风格 We gotta do this thing in style.
考虑一下 我们飞到一个温暖的地方 Thinkin' we fly somewhere warm, hmm?
喝鸡尾酒 住五星级酒店 Where the drinks have umbrellas, the hotels are five stars...
美女成堆 The vagina flows like water-
让你爽个够 Sweet, stickywater.
听起来不错 但是我的朋友手头比较紧 Wow. that sounds great, but some of the guys are on tight budgets.
用公司的钱支付好了 That's what the company card's for, right?
就像亚伯说的 这是家族的事情 I mean, like abe said, this is a family business.
谢谢你的慷慨 但我不能全部让你付账 Look, that is vey generous of you, but l can't let you pay for all that.
我能娶梅尔我很高兴 Look, l'm really happy thatyou're marying mel.
我的意思是我一直想要个兄弟 I mean, l always wanted a brother...
不幸的是我妈妈死得早 But unfortunately my mother died when l was prettyyoung.
我知道我们没有血缘关系 Look, l know we're not blood or anything...
但如果能为我兄弟开单身派对的话 But, look, l would be honored if you would let me...
我会觉得很荣幸 Throw my new brother his bachelor party.
好吧 托德 那就照你说的做 Well- ofcourse, todd. yeah. absolutely.
好极了 Awesome.
听着 现在起你要好好休息了 老弟 Now listen, you probably want to get some sleep, bro-ham...
你一定需要养足精神 Causeyou're gonna need it.
托德 你妈妈的事 我很难过 Wow, todd, l- l'm so sory about your mom.
我一直都不知道 L never knew.
比利 你他妈是弱智吗 Billy, areyou fucking retarded?
她没死 她作了第三次隆胸手术 She's not dead. she's in phoenix...
现在和她的第二任丈夫住在凤凰城 With her second husband and her third set of tits.
-真对不起 -是啊 - l'm sory. - yeah. yeah, you are.
现在听着 Now, look.
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-----====翻译：=====----- 且歌且行 Monkey 荨香 亚力9大 吕黎 校对：五山城主
我需要了解这个人 罗恩·西蒙斯 I need recon on this guy. ron simmons.
我要知道他的一切 每一个细节 L wanna know eveything about him- evey little detail.
每个人都有弱点 比利 我要知道他的弱点 Evey man has his weakness, billy, and l wanna know his.
老东西就要下台了 我会接班的 The old man's steppin' down soon. l'm next in line.
我已经三年没和这个肥婆同床了 I haven't been sleeping with this cow of a daughter for the last threeyears.
怎么能让这个家伙跳出来抢我的位子 Just so daddy's little favorite can come in and take it from me.
可惜了 比利 Mmm. sadly, billy...
我想他们要结不成婚了 I just don't think this little union's gonna make it to the altar.
走吧 趁我还清醒 let's go! l'm still sober.
快点伙计 南海岸的姑娘们在等着我们呢 Come on, man. the chicks in south beach aren't gonna fuck themselves.
-你好 梅尔 -你们好 伙计们 - hey, mel. - hey, boys.
我爱你 小可爱 回头见 L loveyou, baby doll. seeyou soon. mmm.
这是干什么的 Hey- oh! what's that for?
新郎也需要看一段艳舞秀吧 Well, you gotta buy the groom a lap dance.
挑一个漂亮的 Pick a hottie.
看到没 这就是我娶你的原因 See? that's why l'm marying you.
妈的 oh, shit.
那是我第一任妻子 快 快点离开这儿 Lt's my first wife. let's go, let's go, iet's go, let's go!
-我爱你 -快 快 快 - loveyou. - go, go, go. come on, go!
想逃啊 混蛋 Nice try, asshole.
记得么 这周是你带孩子 It's your weekend with your son. remember?
这可是罗恩的单身派对 Hey, it's ron's bachelor party.
那是你的问题 笨蛋 That is your problem, shit for brains.
罗恩 恭喜你 Ron, congratulations.
婚姻是件美好的事情 Oh! marriage is a beautiful thing...
我为你感到高兴 And l am so vey happy foryou.
混蛋 Ass wipe.
谢谢你 艾琳 Thanks, irene.
我很抱歉你不能去了 真遗憾 I'm sorry you're not gonna be able to make it. that sucks.
罗恩 上车 走了 快点 Get in the van, ron. tick-tock, tick-tock.
我会去的 我的生活没有乐趣 All right, l'm goin', okay? my life knows no joy.
只知道工作 支付赡养费和看孩子 All l know is work and alimony payments and babysitting.
如果你认为这个周末我不去狂欢 So if you think l'm missing out on a weekend...
你们就大错特错了 Of drunken debauchey, you're sadly mistaken.
他不能跟着 这是单身派对 不是儿童聚会 Well, he can't come with. this is a bachelor party, not romperroom.
-罗恩 -罗恩 - ron? - ron?
-罗恩 - ron?
等一下 这个是 Wait a minute. this?
伙计 这就是你未来岳父的飞机 This is your future father-in-law's plane, man?
真棒 费德林 Way to go, federline.
那个叫托德的 打算支付整个周末的费用 and this todd guy, he's gonna pay for the whole weekend?
我想是的 yeah,l guess so.
听起来他像是个同性恋 sounds gay to me, man.
我们要不要付出什么 Yeah, we don't have to put out, do we?
我可不想和你的姐夫发生关系 Yeah, l'm not sleepin' with your brother-in-law, ron.
真显摆 what a douche.
我的兄弟们 My niggas!
这个还行么 Huh? what about this?
伙计们 这是托德 托德 这是我的朋友 So, uh, guys, this is todd. todd, the guys.
先生们 我们开始吧 Gentlemen. let's do this.
-毛衣真漂亮 紫色又流行了 -真棒 - nice sweater. l guess purple's coming back. - shotgun.
这个孩子怎么跟着 Whoa. what's with the kid?
-不要担心 他很成熟 -太棒了 - oh, don't wory. he's the mature one. - perfect.
天啊 - uh- oh, man.
-不可思议 -听着 伙计们 - what? what? - okay, okay, listen, guys.
都座好了 你怎么就穿个短裤 Takeyour sea- why don't you have any pants on?
这不是私人飞机么 What, this is a private plane, right?
这就是我的隐私 Them's my privates.
好了 听着 两个乘务员要出来了 An_ay, look. couple of flight attendants are gonna come out.
只是些安全提醒 没有什么大不了的 Go over some safety precautions. it's not a big deal.
-好的 -女士们 - great. - oh, ladies?
-你们好 男士们 我是曼蒂 -我是珊蒂 - hello, boys. l'm mandy. - and l'm sandy.
我已经坐直并固定好了位置 And l'm in the upright and locked position.
太棒了 Yeah!
我们会在去佛罗里达的路上为你们服务 We'll be serving you all the way to sunny florida.
我有两百英里的航程可以享受 太棒了 And l got two million airline miles. yeah!
德里克 你的孩子 Hey, derek. offspring.
天哪 等一下 Aw, geez. hold on.
过来 梅尔沃 我们走 Come on, ''melvoid.'' let's go.
爸爸 我叫汤米 蠢货 Dad, it's tommy, dumb ass.
去机舱看看拉里机长 Go see captain lary in the cockpit.
-我不想去机舱 -拉里机长 - l don't wanna go to the cockpit. - captain lary.
不要忘记擦屁股 Don't forget to wipeyour ass.
如果在水上降落 In the event of a water landing...
你们可以在飞机上 You will find several flotation devices...
找到用于漂浮的设备 On board the aircraft.
说说情况 比利 Talk to me, billy.
我已经订好套房 酒吧也放好了酒 I've checked you into the suite and made sure the bar is fully stocked.
-房间布置呢 -我正在处理 - what about decorations for the room? - l'm taking care of that now.
伙计们 不要这样 让我出去 Guys, come on. let me out.
你真懂得怎么旅行 You, sir, know how to travel.
都是为了我的兄弟 Well, nothing is too good for my new bro.
-好的 - all right.
你有没有一次和两个姑娘上过床 Speakin' of which, have you ever had two girls at once?
确切的说没有 你呢 Uh, actually, sadly, no. but, uh, haveyou?
当然了 要不我不会结婚的 Ofcourse, or else l wouldn't be married.
听着 Listen.
我要让我兄弟在结婚前完成帽子戏法 l cannot let my new brother get married till he has had a hat trick...
我恰好知道 And l happen to have it on vey good authority...
珊蒂和曼蒂原意玩3P That sandy and mandy are, mmm, morally flexible.
我很喜欢她们 And l love that about them.
真的 但是 I do, but, u_
我不知道 我想这个周末 I don't know, l think this weekend...
我只是想和你们在一起玩玩 L just wanna hang out with you guys...
喝醉甚至是尿裤子 And get drunk and maybe crap my pants.
-我还是比较传统的 -好吧 - you know. l'm a traditionalist. - okay. you know what?
我会让那些童子军的规定都作废 I'm gonna let this little boy scout routine fly for right now.
我想告诉你 let me tell you something.
我的商业和人生的座右铭是 My motto in business and in life...
勇往直前 Is ''balls to the wall.''
评判一个好的单身派对 Now, the mark of a good bachelor party...
在于能否让准新郎尽情的爽一把 Is the bachelor getting laid early and often.
我会好好筹划这次单身派对的 And the todd only throws the best bachelor parties.
女士们 尽量使坏吧 Ladies, do your worst.
伙计们 不要管我 我真的不要艳舞 Guys, l'm-l'm fine. l reallydon't want a lap dance now. l'm fine.
等等 我能先喷两滴清洗一下吗 拜托 Wait. can l just-a little purell first? like, two-two squirts, please?
闭嘴 细菌男孩 Shut it, germ boy.
老天 Oh, deargod!
-再见 -好 - bye. - okay. all right.
谢谢 女士们 Thankyou, ladies.
耶 喝完了 Yeah! drained it.
网上见 Seeyou on the internet.
回程见 Seeyou on the way back.
再见 谢谢了 Seeya. thanks. whoa.
-还好吧 -你真行 - all right? - way to go.
刚到迈阿米就弄断两条胳膊 塞思你真行 One minute in miami and two broken arms. that's ourseth.
先生们 注意了 这是比利 All right, gentlemen. gentlemen, listen up. this is billy.
他会帮我们安排这个周末的精彩节目 He's gonna be helping us out with the, uh, festivities this weekend.
-大家好么 -进去看看 - what's up? - let's check it out.
来吧 左 右 Come on. left, right.
-欢迎下榻总统套房 - welcome to the presidential suite.
我的天 他们真的让我在这里住 Oh, my god. they're really letting me in this place?
看看这个 Oh, look at this. whoo!
要在香槟里洗澡了 因为我到天堂了 Dip my balls in champagne, cause l'm in heaven.
帅呆了 托德 Groovy, todd.
妈的 罗恩 我真想上了你姐夫 Damn, ron, l mightjust bang your brother-in-law after all, man.
哦 你还真想得出 Oh, well, thanks for that image.
天那 Geez.
-你还好么塞思 -是的 - you good over there, seth? - yes.
伙计 这个地方真是太棒 All right, pal. this place is amazing.
-谢谢了 -就是要给你最好的 - thankyou. - aw, nothin' but the best.
现在 我们的旅途还有一站 Now, there is one more stop on the tour.
伙计们 来打个招呼吧 gentlemen, say hello to my little friends.
-你好 -你好 - gutentag. - hello.
你好 Guten tag.
希特勒万岁 Long live hitler!
我去清醒一下 Just gonna- l'm gonna hit the head.
你想干什么 想杀我么 What are you tying to do, kill me?
-嘿 -让开 - hey. - move.
-情况如何 -还好 - so what do we got? - all right, so-
-每个房间都装有摄像 -好极了 - there's a camera in evey single room. - perfect.
如果他和谁发生了关系 就录下来 If this guy so much as pops a stif_, we're gonna get it on tape.
那个德国妞提到希特勒了 I'm telling you, that german chick said something about hitler.
我的德语不好 但有一点是肯定的 My german's a little rusty, but l am pretty sure that she said...
她在说希特勒万岁 long live hitler.''
放松些塞思 来做个按摩 Seth? relax, pal. get a massage.
我是认真的 作为这儿唯一的犹太人 I'm serious, okay? as the onlyjew here, all right...
我觉得我有责任担心 I feel it is my responsibility to be concerned...
我们的室友可能是纳粹 That our roommates might be nazis.
好吧伙计 听我说 All right, buddy, l'll tell you what.
如果他们还在想入侵波兰 我们可以告发他们 Ifthey even think about invading poland, we'll let somebody know.
准备好了么 罗恩 喝酒时间 伙计 All right, ronny. gin and tonic time, buddy.
来吧 向我开火 Oh, fire it up. ahhh.
拜托你别再那样了 Will youjust drop it, please?
你的性取向我没有意见 Hey, l'm cool with your sexuality,
我只是不喜欢那种做爱方式 Lt'sjust, l don't swing that way, man.
你给我背上涂防晒霜不会让你成为同性恋 Look. asking you to rub sunblock on my back does not make you gay.
真的 你也可以替你打手枪的 Seriously. you might as well have asked me for a handjob.
-你真是个变态 -嘿 - okay, that isjust sick. - hey.
我闻到鸡尾酒香肠的味道了 L smell cocktail wieners.
没搞错吧 What?
找到了 Eureka.
-好 -你在干什么 - okay. - what are you doing?
你根本不知道什么是SAA You don't even know what the s.a.a. is.
可能是美国销售联合会什么的 It's sales associates of america or some crap.
只是谈些销售和目标实现什么的 Just, you know, talk about selling and goal realization...
和一些有关安东尼·罗宾斯的屁话 And all that other tony robbins shit.
我为什么叫塔布斯 Why am l tubbs?
因为你不是克罗基特 Becauseyou, sir, are no crockett.
说真的 到这儿来我还有些紧张 To be honest with you, l was a bit nervous coming here.
当我们首次举办性爱狂匿名聚会 When we first proposed a sex addicts anonymous retreat,
大家都不好意思 people rolled their eyes.
还说干脆叫放纵聚会好了 the were, like, ''why notjust call it an orgy?''
你会明白的 Oh, no, you'll see.
这些聚会有很好的环境 These retreats offer a vey supportive environment...
我们可以治疗以帮助我们恢复 Where we can focus on healing and getting on the road to recovey.
这个周末 性会远离我们的大脑 This weekend, sex will be the farthest thing from your mind.
我想我做得还不够 I can't get enough ofthat-
-波普 你喜欢枪对吧 -那是什么 - you like guns, pop? - what is that?
他们给我十年奖章的那天 是我生命中最美好的一天 The best day of my life was the day they gave me my 10-year chip.
欢迎 我叫苏·胡佛 东南区的总裁 Oh, welcome. l'm sue hoover, president of the southeast chapter.
苏 很高兴认识你 你们俩 Oh, nice to meet you, sue- all of you.
塔布斯 你是哪个区的 这是你的名吗 So what chapter are you from, tubbs? is that your first name?
实际上 那是他的姓 actually, that's his last name.
我叫索尼 他是我搭档瑞科 Yeah, l'm sonny and that's my partner rico.
我们是中西区的 Yeah. and we're from the midwest chapter.
欢迎你们 索尼和瑞科 - welcome, sonny and rico. - yeah.
你们参加这个活动多久了 So, how long have you two been in the program?
-噢 不是很久 -说你自己吧 瑞科 - oh, not vey. - well, speak for yourself. rico...
以为作为会员我已经 天哪 好像有20年了 Cause l've been a member for, oh, gosh, like, 20 years.
-20年 天哪 -是啊 - twenty years? my goodness. - yeah.
我很小就开始了 yeah, l got started really young.
我爷爷也是会员 他很早就开始教我 my grandpa, he was a member, so he started teaching me early.
当心 苏 Oh, careful there, suzyq.
那些东西容易呛到 你得小心点 Those things are a little tricky. you gotta be careful.
在我爷爷和童子军之间 Yeah, you know, between my grandpa and the boy scouts...
-好像我为了SAA而生一样 -童子军? - it was like l was just born to be in s.a.a. - the boy scouts?
对啊 我在童子军营刻苦用功 Oh, yeah. l did a lot of hustling in the scouts.
从冬天分配圣诞树圣诞树 Yeah, with the christmas tree lot in the winter...
到夏天挨家挨户的推销 不计代价 And then goin' door to door in the summer time- whatever it took.
我的队长甚至说我是他见过最棒的 - my scout master even said l was the best he ever had. -
-我没事 -你没事吧 - l'm fine. -are you all right?
好了 不要用当年的光辉事迹 Okay, let's not bore the nice people...
来烦扰别人了 索尼 With faded childhood glories there, sonny.
-瑞科 那是你的孩子吗 -嗯? - hey, rico, isn't that your kid over there? - hmm?
很多女人对男性妇科医生感到不满意 Not a lot of women are comfortable with a male ''vaginacologist''...
但我有很多很满意的病人 But l have many, many satisfied patients.
-我正在接受预约 -得了吧 - l am booking appointments. - come on.
-那么 贝蒂 -嗯? - so, uh, betty. - hmm?
等会儿想去喝一杯吗 You wanna maybe grab a drink later?
你知道 用行话说 我以技巧取胜 You know, talk shop? I could always use some pointers on my technique.
好吗 Okay? man.
-我要给赞助商打电话 -好的 - l need to call my sponsor. - mm-hmm.
伙计们走吧 脱衣舞女不会等我们的 Guys, let's go! the stripper's aren't getting any younger.
-索尼 索尼 -嘿 - sonny! sonny! - hey!
贝蒂 怎么拉 Betty, what's-what's goin' on?
没事 只是之前跟你聊天非常开心 Nothing. l just really enjoyed talking with you earlier.
噢 是吗 那太好了 Oh, well, th-that's cool. yeah.
也许 也许我们可以一起出去转转 Maybe, uh- maybe we should hang out, you know?
-吃个匹萨 然后做爱 -我还以为你永远都不会要求呢 - grab a pizza, fuck? - l thought you'd never ask.
-什么 -我不吃匹萨 但无论如何 - pardon? - well, l don't eat pizza, but whatever.
兄弟们 等会儿见 Gentlemen, l will see you later.
那句台词从来没管用过 这是头一次 That line has never worked. I mean, ever.
她要不是来杀他的 我会受不了的 I'm gonna be really pissed if she doesn't murder him...
或者至少割掉他一个肾 Or at least harvest a kidney, man.
那个钢管肯定布满了病菌 Ugh! that-that pole's gotta be covered in crabs and herpes...
只有天晓得 And god knows what.
幸好我兑换了一些零钱 I am so glad I cashed in my 401 , man.
兄弟们 这边坐 gentlemen, this booth's us.
来吧 Come on.
打扰了 小姐们 excuse me, ladies.
我讨厌扰乱别人的思绪 但我有个问题 I hate to interrupt this meeting of the minds, but I got a work question.
谁想做五分钟一万块钱的工作 Who wants to make $10,000 for five minutes of work?
坚持 坚持 对 这就对了 这就对了 Oh- back, back. yeah. there it is. there it is.
准备就位 Get into position.
我们的采花大盗回来了 Oh! the conquering hero has returned.
-嘿 你没搞多久嘛 -相信我 哥们儿 - hey, that didn't take long, man. - trust me, dude.
她已经不行了 我让她爽够了 忍者风格 She couldn't take much more. l fucking killed it- ninja style.
-是吗 怎样的 又快又安静? -你知道啊 没错 - oh, yeah? what, like fast and silent? - you know it, brother. yeah.
瞧 那妞真像年轻时候的南茜·里根 Hoo. check it out. that chick's a dead ringer for a young nancy reagan.
-怎么了 -我一直想干南茜·里根 - so? - I always wanted to fuck nancy reagan. yeah!
我喜欢杰拉尔丁·费拉罗 I was always fond of geraldine ferraro.
-很性感 -来吧 单身汉 - vey sexy. - come on, bachelor.
你在VIP包间有个约会 You've got a date in the v.I.p. room.
去VIP包间 天哪 Go to the v.I.p.- oh, my god.
你动作很麻利 Whoa! you're-you're vey nimble.
嘘 省点劲儿 有用 Shh. save your energy. you're gonna need it.
我应该多结几次婚 I've gotta get married more often.
也许皮带应该好好扣着 不是吗 Maybe the belt should stay buckled though. no?
罗宾 你妈来电话说 Robin! your mommy's on the phone.
-你奶奶心脏病发了 -奶奶 - your grandma had a heart attack. - nana?
对 Uh-huh.
天哪 真可怕 我... Oh, my god. that's horrible. I-
-就在这儿待着 亲爱的 -嘿 你干嘛 - you're not going anyhere, baby. - hey. hey-ah!
嘿 那是拉链 Hey. hey-that's a zipper.
-现在已经开了 -嘿 滚开 - that's happening now. - hey, back of_
-他是我的 -分你一半好了 - he's mine. - you can share.
什么 噢 天哪 What? what? oh! oh, lord.
-玩够了吧 我的腿 -你个臭婊子 - maybe we've had enough. that's my leg. - you fucking bitch!
天哪 上啊 兄弟们 Holy shit. come on, guys.
快他妈走开 get the hell off of him.
脱衣舞女打架啦 Yeah! stripper fight!
起来 走开 - - get of_ get of_
托德想干什么 What is todd's deal?
他想置我于不忠还是置我于死地 Is he tying to get me laid or get me killed?
-嘿 伙计 还有更惨的死法呢 -是啊 - hey, man, there are worse ways to die. - yeah.
哥们儿 角落里那个妞 Dudes, that chick in the corner...
向我暗送秋波 好像很欠干 Is throwing me signals like she's johnny fuckin' bench.
她对飘着的线头 She's paying more attention...
比对你更感兴趣 To the floating lint than you, dude.
好吧 还是聊正事吧 All right, let's get down to brass tacks, okay?
-罗恩 你准备好结婚了吗 -我想是的 - are you ready for marriage, ron? - l think so. yeah.
哦 那么你准备跟口交永别了 Oh. so you're ready to say good-bye to blowjobs?
因为这是首要大事 Cause that's the first thing that goes.
所有的已婚妇女都不给男人口交 Married women don't give blowjobs. it's a union thing, man.
然后你所热爱的体育运动 And then your sports that you love...
是你下一个要吻别的对象 That's the next thing you can kiss good-bye.
-梅尔喜欢体育 -不不不 - mel likes sports. - no, no, no.
她们只是装作喜欢 They pretend they like sports...
就像我们装着喜欢跟她们讲话一样 The same way we pretend we like talkin' to them.
你结了婚以后唯一的体育活动 The only sports you're gonna get when you're married...
是亲子棒球 Is little league t-ball.
我是过来人 相信我吧 罗恩 And l've seen that stuff. and trust me, ron.
知道吗 大部分的小鬼真的很讨厌 Most of those kids really fuckin' suck, okay?
同时她们还剥夺掉你最后一个权利 And by the time they take away the last thing...
喝酒 然后你就了无生趣了 That gives you any pleasure at all- booze-
你已经忘了是什么快乐了 You've forgotten what happiness is.
最后你只剩一个空壳 So now you're just walking around...
在这个世界上行走 An empty shell of the man you once were.
当她们离开你的时候 罗恩 And that's when they leave you, ron. hmm.
她们会宣称你已不是她的男人 Claimin' that 'you're not the man l married.''
而且还他们的说 Well, no shit, hey?
多谢赏光 这儿还有一个派对礼物 Thanks for playin', and here's a parting gift.
供小孩和没完没了的抚养费 Child support and alimony right up the ass.
这就是婚姻 罗恩 And... that's marriage, ron.
你准备好了吗 You ready for that?
我要去尿尿 - I'm gonna go pee.
-你呢 -恩 - yeah? - yeah.
我要吃点药 I need some pills.
-看到上帝的份上 我来帮你 -谢谢 - oh, for god's sakes. let me help you with that. - oh, thanks.
别想太多 我是不会帮你擦屁股的 Just don't get any ideas. l'm not gonna wipe your ass later.
我的老朋友可待因止痛药 Ooh. my old friend codeine.
-我两片 你一片 -不不不 - nice. two for me, one for you? - no, no, no.
-我需要那东西 -等一下 - l need that stuff. man. - wait a minute.
-能和这个一起喝吗 -喝的话会好一点 - can you drink with those? - it's way better when you drink.
一口啤酒不会有事 One beer is not gonna be a problem.
得了吧 婚姻过时了 罗恩 我们不需要它 Aw, come on, man. marriage is outdated, ron. we don't need 'em.
对 我们永远都不应该 给女人投票的权利 Yeah, we never should have, uh, given women the right to vote.
好吧 就这样吧 Okay, that's it.
顺其自然 好吗 Let's take it easy, shall we?
与一帮流氓在一起真是个漫漫长夜 - it's been kind of a long night, what with the gang rape and all. -
天哪 我来送睡美人回房间吧 Oh, god. I'm gonna walk sleeping beauty back up to his room.
-起来啦 -哦 我要去花园派对 - come on. - okay. l gotta go to the garden party.
好的 小心 小心 - okay, careful. careful. -
好的 这样对你挺好 Okay. that's good for you.
你们 你们来吗 还是 You guys, uh- you guys comin', or what?
不了 我还是待这儿吧 No, l think l'm gonna stay here, man.
那边那个妞在求我呢 That chick over there is beggin' me for it.
我可不想错过好戏 l'm not gonna miss this.
你当然不会 Why would you?
塞思 Seth?
他 他度过了漫长的一天 He's, uh- he's had kind of a long day.
-肯定过了某人的睡觉时间了 -对 - it's definitely past someone's bedtime. - yeah.
不好意思 起来啦 伙计 - sory about that. come on, pal. -
走了 靠 Here you go. oh, geez.
那么 你要拍照吗 So, uh, do you wanna take a picture...
还是我给你张纸你画个素描 Or should I give you a piece of paper so you can sketch them?
-拍照 -噢不 对不起 对不起 - take a picture. - oh, no. I'm sory. I'm sory.
我从克利夫兰来 我刚才在看你的t恤 I'm from cleveland, and I was noticing your shirt.
-你是詹姆斯的粉丝吗 -我爸来自克利夫兰 - are you a browns fan? - my father is from cleveland,
所以我很早就被洗脑了 so I was brain washed early.
我是骑士队的粉丝 但他们太让我伤心了 I'm a cavs fan, but they're breaking my heart right now.
拜托 勒布朗 - - aw, come on, lebron.
-别投那么多花哨的球 -加油 勒布朗 - shoot less commercials and more free throws. - come on, lebron.
-那么你是骑士队的铁杆粉丝? -它是我的魔咒 - so you're-you're a big cleveland fan, huh? - such is my curse.
他口水流到我身上了 He's drooling on me now...
我应该走了 很高兴认识你 So l should probably go, but it was nice meeting you.
-我也是 -好了 走了 小王子 - you too. - all right. come on, little prince.
拜拜 勒布朗 Bye, lebron.
嘿 我是梅尔 请留言 我稍后回电 Hey, it's mel. leave a message. I'll call you back.
嘿 宝贝 只是跟你问个好 Hey, babe. just callin' to say hi.
我想你 I missyou. um-
听到留言给我打电话 Gimme a call whenever.
到时候再跟你说 爱你 拜拜 I'll talk to you then. love you. bye.
晚上好 Guten abend.
来呀 罗恩 balls to the wall, ron.
我想我更习惯睡沙发 Yeah, you know, I think I'm more of a couch sleeper.
晚安 二位 Aufwiedersehen, ladys.
噢 这个男人怎么回事 Oh, what is wrong with this guy?
谁会就这样走开呢 Who walks away from that?
-醒醒 醒醒 德里克 -贝尔格兰德玉米片 - wakey, wakey, d. - uh, nacho bellgrande.
-早上好 小姐们 -早上好 - morning, ladies. - rwomenj guten morgen.
我的书在这儿 There is my book.
-噢 我 -谢谢 - oh. I did- - d_n_eschd'n.
我放了个香蕉在上面 那个 I set a banana on- it wa-
那个 It was-
天哪 Oh, god.
她不只读希特勒宣言 She wasn't just reading hitler's manifesto, okay?
她还划重点 那些女孩是个纳粹 She was highlighting it. those girls are nazis!
就算是 她们也是惹火的纳粹 性感纳粹 Well, maybe, but they're hot nazis. ''hotzis.''
靠 What the fuck.
-嘿 这他妈是什么 -什么 - hey. what the hell is this? - what?
这个 这是什么 This. what is this?
-是你的结婚戒指 -我的什么 - that's your wedding ring. - my what?
你的结婚戒指 你昨晚结婚了 不记得了吗 Your wedding ring. you got married last night. you don't remember?
-什么 -没错 你们走后 - what? - yeah. after you guys left...
他去勾引酒吧里那个妞 他们一见钟情 He went over to that little chippie at the bar and they actually hit it off
后来我们出去喝了点酒 跳了点舞 then we went out and had some drinks did some dancing.
你知道吗 之前 我们在波卡的一个小教堂 Before，you know it, we were in a little chapel in boca.
我是你的伴郎 I was your best man.
你是伴郎? 你让我娶她? 靠 You were my best man? you let me mary her? what the fuck!
我很荣幸受到邀请 老兄 I was honored to be asked, buddy.
好吧 兄弟们 Oh. okay, guys.
哈哈哈 我被你耍了 真好笑 Ha, ha, ha. I've been punk'd. vey funny.
-你骗我的对不对 -没有 - you're fuckin' with me, right? - actually, I'm not.
我一早都在等你 给你看你的结婚证 Been waiting all morning to show you your marriage certificate.
对 这东西办证就能弄 Yeah, yeah. could have got this done at a kinko's.
只要2分钟 哈哈 真好笑 Two minutes. ha, ha. vey funny.
然后还有录像 Then there's always the video.
我要结婚了 I'm gettin' married!
我爱上了索尼娅·赫尔南德斯 I'm-I'm in love with sonia hernandez.
谁是索尼娅·赫尔南德斯 Who's sonia hernandez?
-你后妈 托维特 -真的吗 又一个? - that's your new stepmom, twit. - seriously? again?
老爸 开玩笑的吧 Dad, tell me this is a joke.
听着 我不记得发生了什么事 Look, l don't remember what happened.
不记得? 你到底怎么回事 You don't remember? what is the matter with you?
注意你的态度 我可是你老爸 Okay, you hold on, cause l'm still your father.
是吗 你确定 有时候我真的不知道 Oh, you sure? cause sometimes l don't know...
谁是大人谁是小孩 Who's the adult and who's the child.
拜你所赐 混蛋 Thanks a lot, ass.
惊喜的单身派对 Surprise bachelorette party!
谢谢 你好 - thank you. hi. -
罗恩 你知道我为什么爱高尔夫吗 You know what I love about golf, ron?
-为什么 托德 -它和女人有很多共通之处 - what's that, todd? - it just has so much in common with women.
我的意思是 它是世界上最好最华丽的 I mean, the finest, most gorgeous courses in the world...
同时也是最贵最难的课程 Are also the most expensive and the most difficult.
我的意思是 我们可以时不时的 L mean, sure we like to kick around...
去尝试不同的风格 With a shitty little par three now and again-
只要朋友们没看到 对吧 - long as our buddies don't see us, right?
高尔夫有很多好的地方 The beauty of golfis variety.
你不想每天都玩同一个洞玩吧 You don't want to play the same hole evey day.
即使你喜欢从后面玩 Even if you are playing the backside.
额 那个 Well, that's, uh-
那很好 托德 但我想我是一个专一的人 That's beautiful, todd, but l think l'm more ofa one-hole kind ofa guy.
我自己有三个洞 L'm a three-hole man, myself.
对 Right.
好了 伙计们 你们说我们怎样找点乐子呢 All right, boys, what do you say we make it interesting?
-500一个人 -还是100一个人吧 - five hundred a man. - uh, how about we keep it to 1 oo, huh?
-我们按肯尼迪规则来玩 -什么是肯尼迪规则 - and we play kennedy rules. - what are kennedy rules?
就是特德·肯尼迪 好吗 Ted kennedy. all right? yeah.
你打丢一个洞 罚酒 你打到沙子里 也得罚酒 You lose a hole, you drink. you hit it in the sand, you drink.
如果塞思碰不到球 我们都罚酒 Seth ''whiffs'' the ball, we all drink.
-我不想玩 -你必须得玩 - l don't even want to play. - well, you're gonna.
我们一个洞一个洞的打 规则可以改变 We played at the putt-putt. the rules will transferjust fine.
很公平 我们也要玩托德玩法 Fair enough. we're also gonna playtodd rules.
什么是托德玩法 What are todd rules?
脱衣高尔夫 丢一个洞 脱一件衣服 Strip golf. lose a hole, you lose some clothes.
我告诉过你他是个同志 你输了 快给钱 L told you he was a 'mo. come on, pay up.
不是我们脱 是球童脱 Not us. the caddies.
那就不太像同志了 怎么玩 Oh, and that's less gay how?
那就是我们的球童 Those are our caddies.
你们好 小伙子们 Hey, guys.
阿什莉不能来了 但她姐姐会来 Hey, ashley couldn't make it, but her sister is coming.
她来了 Oh. here she comes now.
抱歉我来晚了 我的姆囊炎让我太难受了 Sory l'm late. my bunions are killing me.
-我要这个 -等等 -她是我的 - l call this one. - wait, wait. - she's mine.
今天真是越来越美妙了 Oh, this dayjust keeps getting better and better.
不 我不能喝 不 Oh, l can't. no!
好的 All right.
天啦 Oh, god.
干杯 伙计 - upyours, buddy. -
小心看球 退后 退后 - fore! - comeback.comeback.
不进 Miss it.
不进 不进 Miss it. miss it.
努南 努南 Noonan. noonan.
这才像话嘛 Oh, yeah. that's my boy!
如果我没搞错 罗恩 Let me get this right, ron.
那个小妞邀请你去玩第19洞 Your smokin' hot caddy asked you to play a 1 9th hole...
被你拒绝了？ And you said no?
兄弟 我得看看你是不是个同志 Dude, l'm gonna have to checkyour balls for gay.
你对一夫一妻制有所了解吗 Areyou remotely familiar with how monogamyworks?
-没有 -好吧 兄弟们 听着 - no! - all right, boys, listen up.
今晚我有个特别的计划 - -tonight l got something special planned.
我们先去参加海边的一个大型派对 We're going to the biggest party down at the beach.
然后我们回到这里喝酒到天亮 We're comin' back here and we're drinkin' all night.
好不好 先休息下 All right? get some rest.
我们得勇往直前 We're goin' balls to the wall.
-塞思没事吧 -他没事 - is seth okay? - he's fine.
另一方面 我做了太多的运动 L, on the other hand, got way too much exercise.
真是妙极了 Kh. wunderbar.
你要吗 Mmm. youwant?
-不 -好吧 - nein. - allright.
-吓到你了? -嘿 - scared ycat. - hey.
能相信吗 关于赫尔南德斯的差不多有12页 Can you guys believe this? there's, like, 1 2 pages of hernandezes in here.
在迈阿密 不可思议 Ln miami? shocking.
我们怎么办 如果每个人都打75个 也许可以 Here's what we'll do, okay? ifeach ofus phones 75- right? that should work-
等等 汤米在哪儿 Wait a minute. where's-where's tommy?
索尼 你在吗 索尼 Sonny? hello? sonny?
-嘿 是你们 -嘿 - hey, hey, you. - hey.
-这个是肖恩娜 -你好 - this is shawna. - hi.
你能像满足我一样满足她吗 You thinkyou can take care ofher the wayyou took care ofme?
你说呢 当然可以 等一下 Does the pope shit in the woods? one second.
你们是打赌输了还是什么 Okay. did you girls lose a bet or something? huh?
爸爸的小帮手 Daddy's little helper.
女士们 请注意 我来了 Look out, ladies. here l come.
你的朋友 他简直是不可思议 Your friend- he'sjust amazing.
不可思议先生归来 mr. amazing is back.
好吧 All right.
-待会见 -伙计 把电话薄给我 - l'll catch you guys later. - hey, man, gimme the phone book.
我来帮你 l'll helpyou out.
奥腾 我们可以晚上在俱乐部等地方做吗 Autumn, can we do this tonight, at, like, a club orsomething?
这些人来这儿不是来陪单身女子玩的 These guys are not here to play bachelorette games.
他们来这儿是来过酒瘾的 They're here to feed their drinking problems.
我把一切都安排好了 L have eveything all set up...
如果现在改变计划 那就全乱了 And ifyou start changing things now, it'll mess eveything up...
-也就不能及时到家给你惊喜 -好吧 - and we won't get home in time foryour surprise- - okay.
好吧 Okay. okay.
打扰了 你好 Excuse me. hi. hi.
今晚是我的单身派对 我想知道... Lt's my bachelorette party, and, well, l wasjust wondering...
你能不能给我1美元 Ifyou wanted to pay a dollar to...
然后从我衣服上吸走一块糖 Well, suck a piece ofcandy offmy shirt.
给你10美元 滚吧 Here's 1 o, but leave me the fuck alone.
扔的好 儿子 Nice throw, son.
汤米 还是我 Hey, tommy, it's me again.
听着 我想为今早的事情道歉 Look. l, uh- l want to apologize for this morning.
不是你的错 是爸爸闯的祸 Lt's-lt's notyour fault thatyour dad's a fuck-up.
有空给我打电话 我很担心你 Just call me when you can. l'm worried about you and-
我爱你 L- l loveyou, okay?
好的 再见 Okay. bye.
嘿 朋友 帮个忙可以吗 Hey, guy! little help here?
-你他妈怎么回事 -浪费了一杯啤酒 - oh! what the hell is wrong with you? -just wasted a beer.
请给我一杯冰镇詹姆森威士忌 Hi. can l have ajameson on the rocks, please?
难熬的一天？ Tough day?
嘿 喜欢勒布朗·詹姆斯的女孩儿 - hey! browns girl. -
-你住在这家酒吧吗 -可以这么说 - what, doyou live in this bar? - practically.
整个南部海滩托尼调的莫吉托酒是最好的 Tony makes the best mojitos in south beach.
我叫伊娃 你呢 And it's eva, by the way.
你好 我叫罗恩 Hi. l'm ron.
罗恩 你到这儿来做什么 So, ron, what's going on?
为了我的单身派对 L am- l am here for my bachelor party.
你的单身派对 Your bachelor party? oh, well.
真让我失望 我认为你很可爱 That bums me out. l thoughtyou were cute.
谢谢 我真是...受宠若惊 Oh, um, thankyou. l'm, uh l'm flattered.
放轻松 牛仔 我只是开个玩笑 Easy, cowboy. l'm just bustin' your balls.
我也订婚了 - hello. l'm engaged too. -
天啦 每个克利夫兰人都这么容易受骗吗 God, is eveyone from cleveland this gullible?
研究表明 是的 的确是 They have done studies. yeah, yeah.
那 你准备什么时候结婚 So, uh, when is your big day, hmm?
我们才刚刚谈了一年 Well, wejust started dating a year ago.
所以在你我和托尼之中 我是最不急的 So, between you, me and tony, l'm not exactly in a rush.
你知道 我可不想犯下终生的错误 L don't wanna make a lifelong mistake. you know what l mean?
托尼 麻烦你再给我一杯 Tony, can l have another, please?
啊 不要杀我 Ah, don't kill me!
-塞思 -我没事 我很好 噢 不太好 - seth! - l'm fine. l'm fine. l'm fine. whoa. not fine.
我需要 我需要 我的药在哪里 L need- l need my- where's my medication?
我认为那个胖子拿走了 L think the fat boy took them.
真是太好了 Oh, that'sjust great!
也许这瓶可以 Maybe this will help.
谢谢 Thanks.
嗯...哦...你的声音... Oh. uh, so, you, um- you have a really nice-
你的声音很好听 你刚刚唱的是什么歌 You have a really nice voice. what was that song you were singing?
那是我小时候经常和曾祖父阿道夫 That's a song l used to sing when l was a little girl with
一起唱的歌 mygreat-grandfather, adolph.
我没事 你说你的太爷爷叫什么来着 L'm fine. you said your- your grandpa who?
我的太爷爷 叫阿道夫 - my great-grandfather, adolph! -
-他人很好 他住在南美洲 -是的 - he's so sweet. he lives in south america. - yeah, l bet.
他每周都给我打电话 he calls me eveyweek.
他希望我和他一样去维也纳学艺术 And he wants me to go to art school like he did in vienna.
-噢 艺术学校 那很有趣 -是的 - oh, art school. that's-that's fun. - yes.
-但是我对艺术没有兴趣 -是吗 - but l'm not interested in art. - no.
我喜欢政治 - l like politics. -
你能帮我把那整瓶药拿过来吗 Uh, can you- can you give me, maybe, the whole bottle?
两个月 我能明白你朋友所关心的 Two months? l seeyour friend's point.
万一她是个连环杀手之类的怎么办 What ifshe turns out to be a serial killer or something?
我曾经跟个家伙约会半年才知道他是同志 L was once dated a guy for six months. he turned out to be gay.
-也许是你造成的 -绝对是我 - maybeyou made him gay. - oh, l definitely made him gay.
我都跟他保持50码的距离 L used to outdistance him on the driving range by 50 yards.
-同性恋 -你也玩高尔夫？ - pansy. - you golf too, huh?
-嗯 -好吧 我完全可能也因为你变成同志 - mm-hmm. - all right. l totallywould have gone gay foryou also.
我的意思 不是所有男人 你明白我的意思吗 L mean, not without the whole man- you know what l'm saying.
好吧 既然你嘴巴这么甜我请你一杯 Well, sir, flattey will getyou another drink.
等等 不不 我不能喝了 Wait. no, no. l can't. l can't. l can't. l got this, uh...
我还得去海滩上去 Beach blanket bingo t_ing to go to here.
好吧 离开我吧 反正我有托尼 Fine. leave me. l got tony.
你已经有了全世界了 Oh. well, you've got the world then.
不如你一起去怎样 Hey, why don'tyou come with?
我认为一个女生不该闯入你的单身派对 L don't think a girl should crash your bachelor party.
走吧 免费喝酒 醉了可以休息 Come on. it's free booze and drunk spring break kids.
晚上你还指望要什么 What more could you possibly want from an evening?
而且我们可以聊聊装饰品和伴娘的裙子 Plus, we can gab about centerpieces and bridesmaids' dresses.
免费的酒很诱惑我 You had me at ''free booze.''
-到时候见 克利夫兰的罗恩 -好的 - l'll seeyou there, cleveland ron. - all right.
塞思 怎么回事 伙计 Hey, seth. what's goin' on, man?
找到汤米了吗 哇 Hey, any luck finding tom? whoa!
你没事吧 塞思 All right. um, you feeling okay, seth?
我没事才怪呢 No. l am far from okay. okay?
我需要我的药 但是詹森拿走了 L needed my medication, onlyjason took it.
所以希特勒的曾孙女给了我一瓶阿司匹林 So hitler's granddaughter gave me some ofthese aspirin.
不但没有作用 反而变成了这样 Only now eveything still hurts and l have this!
它是本来就弯成那样吗 Ls it supposed to curve like that, man?
-不是 -天啦 - no! - holybabyarm!
-这都是你的错 -这怎么会是我的错 - this is all your fault! - okay, how is thdt my fault?
你拿了我的止痛药 而我吃了一把你的伟哥 Because you took my codeine, so l took a bunch ofyourviagra!
那不是伟哥 胡克船长 那是野马XL Okay, that's not viagra, captain hook. that's equine xl.
等一等 那是什么东西 Wait a minute. what's equine xl?
那是给马吃的壮阳药 我在网上买的 Lt's boner pills for horses. l get it offthis veterinayweb site.
-真的吗 -对 很好很强大 - oh, yeah? - yeah, it's awesome.
我得去网上看看 L gotta get that site.
你把药装在阿司匹林的药瓶里 你个白痴 Theywere in an aspirin bottle, you degenerate asshole!
对不起 练习一下判断力 - well, excuse me for exercising a little discretion.
练习判断力？ - ''exercising discretion''?
我想不到有比"练习"和"判断力" L can't think oftwo words that have less in common with you...
跟你更有共同点的词了 Than ''exercise'' and ''discretion''!
啊 你的话很让人伤心 塞思 Ouch. that hurt, seth.
我不止要让你伤心 你这个杂种 L'm gonna giveyou something to hurt about, you motherfucker! come on!
好了好了 塞思 停下来 all right, all right! seth, stop. stop.
傻瓜 傻瓜 Wet noodle! wet noodle.
抱歉打扰了 不管你们在干什么 Sory to interrupt... whatever this is.
派对将在10分钟之后开始 The, uh, partystarts in about 1 o minutes.
所以 你们...尽快结束 So, you know, ifyoujust... finish up soon.
好了 塞思 我觉得你应该 All right, seth, l think you should, um-you should go and...
解决一下你的小状况 You know, take care ofyour little... situation.
-是吗 是吗 -好的 我知道了 - yeah? oh, yeah? - okay, l got it.
我们可以叫一个妓女来解决 Wejust, uh, call a little call girl.
不 不 不 No, no, no.
我不会让一个有病的妓女摸我下面 L am not letting some diseased hooker touch me down there.
我们会找一个干净的妓女来摸你下面 We'll get a nice clean hooker to touch you down there.
算了 伙计们 别说了 Forget it, fellas. all right?just forget it.
你穿的是卡普里裤吗 So, uh, are those capri pants?
这不是卡普里裤 卡布里裤是女人穿的 They're not capri pants. capri pants are forwomen.
所以这个就是男式卡普里裤 Oh. so they're man-pri pants?
不是 这是五分裤好吧 No. look, they're cropped slacks, okay?
在欧洲很受欢迎 非常受欢迎 They're huge in europe. huge.
乔治·迈克尔在欧洲也很受欢迎 Yeah, george michael's huge in europe too.
你有想过戴脚环吗 You ever thought ofmaybe an ankle bracelet?
-他一会儿就下来吗 -对 他一会儿就下来 - is he gonna be down soon? - yeah. he'll be down in a minute.
轻点 Be gentle.
请用 女士们 Hereyou go, ladies.
谢谢 弗洛拉 - thankyou, flora. -
我们在这里干什么 我不是在抱怨什么 What are we doing here? not that l'm complaining...
但是你知道 当你被一个酒鬼 But, you know, the odds ofbeing thrown up on...
吐到身上时有多扫兴啊 By a hardened alcoholic have dropped significantly.
妈妈人呢 Speaking of. where's mom?
她又在"午睡" She's, uh, taking one ofher ''naps.''
啊 会是谁呢 - - ah. l wonderwho that could be.
-怎么回事 -我不知道 - what's going on? - l don't know.
不好了 看起来好像我们厨房漏水了 Oh, no. it appears we have some sort ofwater leak.
所以水管工来了 The plumber's here!
打扰了 女士们 Excuse me, ladies.
我知道你们这里的管道出了点问题 l understand you're having some problems with your plumbing.
看来我不得不掏出我的特别工具 l may have to pull out my special tool for this job.
不要担心 我修理管道方面我有很多经验 Don'tyou wory. l'm accustomed to working with a lot of pipe.
天啦 你穿的鞋是吉米·丘的鞋吗 Oh, my god! are thosejimmy choo's?
弗洛拉 Flora!
水管工 来一个 水管工 来一个 水管工 来一个 Go, plumber! go, plumber! go, plumber!
水管工 来一个 水管工 来一个 水管工 来一个 Go, go! go, plumber! go, plumber! go, plumber!
水管工 来一个 水管工 来一个 Go, go! go, plumber! go, plumber!
水管工 来一个 水管工 来一个 Go,go! go, plumber! go, plumber!
水管工 来一个 水管工 来一个 - go, plumber! go, plumber! - ##
水管工 来一个 水管工 来一个 Go, go! go, plumber!
你们嚷嚷着在这干嘛 What in fuck's name is going on?
这家伙是打哪来的 And where did tommytune here come from?
妈妈 这是梅尔的单身派对 他是脱衣舞男 Mother! it's mel's bachelorette party. this is the stripper.
嗨 你家真漂亮 Hi. loveyour house.
谢谢 萨莉 Thanks, sally.
上帝啊 奥腾 Jesus, autumn!
这家伙比屋里其他人都喜欢小弟弟 This guy likes cock more than anyone else in this room.
-不好意思 妈妈 我们正在兴头上 -别说了 - excuse me, mother, but we were in the middle- - but nothing.
我的女儿怎么可以在她的单身派对上 No daughter of mine is going to have a one-man rendition...
请个舞男来大肆疯狂 O5 _ chorus line for her bachelorette party.
哦 是吗 好吧 那你想怎么办呢 Oh, really? well, what do you wanna do that's so great?
去我的读书俱乐部啊 - we'll go to my book club. -
哦 我要那个 这个就免了 Oh, l'll take that. definitely don't need that.
-哦 -谢谢 - oh. - thanks.
-你要吗 -当然 - you got it? - yeah.
-好 -先生们 敬我们将毕生难忘的一夜 - all right. - gentlemen, to a night we will never forget.
-干杯 -干了 - cheers. - hear! hear!
待会见 伙计们 Seeya later, guys.
-啊 我觉得有点晕 -你没事吧 - whoa. whoa. feeling a little woozy. - you all right?
这种勃起抽干了我大脑的血 L think this erection's draining the blood from my brain.
我想吐 L'm disgusting.
好吧 酒肉朋友 罗恩 他们都是些酒肉朋友 Okay, okay. fair-weather friends, ron. those are fair-weather friends.
我不会让人破坏了你的单身派对 L am not gonna let a little pissin' and moanin' ruin your bachelor party.
-好吗 兄弟 -对 - all right, brother? yeah! - all right.
-等下 -他也走了 - hang on a second. - and off he goes.
哦 谢谢你 Oh. well, thankyou.
真的? 它是不是在一边塞了个丹碧斯啊 Really? does that come with a side of tampax?
不是说今晚 今晚我们可要享受VIP待遇 Not tonight. tonight we roll v.l.p.
如果你的婚礼没有人主持 Lfyou don't already have someone performing yourwedding,
我也是个职业牧师 l'm also a licensed minister.
啊 那真是好极了 Uh, that would bejust lovely.
这就是你所谓的读书俱乐部 Rhjs is your book club?
拜托 你缩回去吧 Come on! go home!
讨厌死啦 Nobody likes you.
看在上帝的份上 你就歇会吧 For the love of god, take a rest!
就是说 你们提供豪华轿车服务 对吗 So, you guys offer limo service, right?
总统套房 The presidential suite.
女儿 我打赌你现在一定很饿 亲爱的 Now, bachelorette, l'll bet you're hungy, my dear.
想来点烤饼吗 Would you care for a scone?
罗斯奶奶? Grandma rose?
你好 我亲爱的梅林达 Well, hello, melinda dear!
日本鬼子投降啦 战争结束啦 Thejapanese have surrendered! the war is over!
太奶奶 Great-grandma?
看到我们你高兴吗 Would you look at us?
四代同堂的读书俱乐部 Four generations together at book club.
我再去倒点酒 L need a refill.
拜托 宝贝 爸爸需要歇歇啊 Come on, baby. daddy needs a rest.
-伙计们 看哪 一个热气腾腾的澡盆子 -不 它... - hey, fellas, look, a hot tub! - no, it's-
它正在保养 不对外开放 我正清洗呢 Lt's closed for maintenance. l'm cleaning it.
看起来也很像个裸浴盆啊 Looks like a clothing optional tub too.
我被卡住了 - - l'm stuck!
-抱歉 -哦 天哪 - excuse me. - oh, god!
看起来不错啊 Looks nice.
嗨 我猜你一定还没搞定吧 Well, well, l thought you hadn't made it.
不好意思 我刚才去重新打扮了一下 Sory, l wasjust freshening up.
哦 你打扮得还真漂亮啊 Oh. you freshen up nice.
先给一半 事成之后再给另一半 Halfnow, halfafter.
事成之后 让你见识真正的男人 And when you're done, you come party with a real man.
听起来真不错 Sounds great.
去搞定他吧 - go get him. -
准备好了吗 热舞比赛正式开始 get it ready! it's time for the hot bodydance contest!
现在 Now,
摇得最凶 赢得最多掌声者将获得500美元 whoever shakes her thing for the crowd and gets the most applause wins $500!
都听明白了吗 - areyou with me? -
好 首先上场的是我们性感的克里斯蒂 Yeah! first up is sexy kirstie.
嘿 抖抖乳房就能赚500块 Hey, 500 bucksjust for shaking your tits?
你应该去试试 伙计 你的咪咪可爱极了 You should get in on that, man. you got lovely tits.
它们多大 B罩杯吗 What are they, a full ''b'' cup?
你不是要去找失踪的儿子和未来的前妻吗 Don'tyou have, like, a lost child and future ex-wife to find?
你知道吗 我很伤心 我真的很伤心 You know what? that cut. that cut real deep.
我们一起躺在吊床上像同志吗 Ls it gay that we're in this hammock together?
-看来她几年的训练有成效啊 -嘿 - looks like her years of tap lessons paid off. - hey.
哇 焕然一新 你看上去真漂亮 Wow. uh, this is new. okay. you look amazing.
我...你是下一个吗 L'm-areyou on next or something?
我已经被淘汰了啦 L got disqualified. 'roids.
啊 对了 我真怀疑你是个酒鬼 Ah, yes. see, l suspected you might be ajuicer.
-莫吉托酒? -正中下怀 - mojito? - you speak my language.
-走吧 -好的 - shall we? - ah, yes.
打扰了 女士们 请问你们需要鸡尾酒吗 Excuse me, ladies. may l interestyou in a cocktail?
哦 好的 我以前和一个黑人睡过呢 Oh, yes. l slept with a colored man once.
-嘘 -是送奶工啦 - shh! - he was the milkman.
他又黑又大 Oh, he was so big, and black as night.
-好了 妈妈 好了 -他那天当然是在送牛奶啦 - okay, mother. okay. - he sure delivered the milk that day!
好了 失陪一下 Okay, uh, ifyou'll all excuse me.
我去看看罗恩在干嘛 T'm gonna g_ l'm gonna check in with ron.
哦 托德 看来罗恩忘拿电话了 Ooh, todd. looks like ron forgot his phone.
哦 好机会 好了 姑娘们 快走 快 Oooh, score. all right, ladies. get lost. go.
好的 回头见 Okay. seeya.
我是罗恩 - - ron's phone.
嘿 托德? Hey. todd?
哦 嗨 梅尔 你知道吗 Oh, hi, mel. you knowwhat?
我本想去叫罗恩 不过他现在不太方便 L would get ron, but he's a little, uh, indisposed at the moment.
-他是不是吐了 变瘦了 -不是啦 - is he throwing up? he's- he's kind of a light weight. - not exactly.
梅尔 你确定真的想和这个家伙结婚吗 Mel, are you sure you want to invite this guy into our family?
怎么了 What?
听着 罗恩把这里的女人睡了个遍 Listen, ron has been sleeping with eveything in a skirt out here.
你们是不是安排好的还是什么 喂? Do you guys have some kind of arrangement or something? hello?
梅尔 - mel? -
下一站 康纳办公室 更多发财的机会 Next stop, corner office! more shots!
-哦 -机会 - ooh! - shots!
这根本就不像罗恩的为人 Lt doesn't seem like ron at all.
幸亏及时看到他的真面目 It's better you found out now.
下次等他睡着了 割掉他一个蛋蛋 教训教训他 Next time he falls asleep, cut one of his balls off. that'll teach him.
现在别说这些了 妈妈 Not now, mother!
-今晚我必须见他 -你想去迈阿密 - l have to see him. tonight. - you want to go to miami tonight?
我打给你爸爸 我们可以坐他的飞机去 L'll call your father. we can take the jet.
哦 好了 朋友们 让我们再给坎迪点掌声 Ooh-hoo. all right, guys, give it up one more time for candy!
好了 最后 All right. last but certainly not least...
让我们有请漂亮的 詹森 We have the beautiful... jason?
-哦 我的天哪 -哦 上帝啊 - oh, my god! - oh, god.
滚下台 你这个白痴 Get off the stage, loser!
好了 朋友们 真是太疯狂了 All right, guys. this is crazy.
这是我们有史以来第一次出现平手 For the first time in club histoy we have a tie...
在坎迪 - between candy... -
和詹森之间 - and jason! -
此时此刻 意味着 Now, right here, that can only mean one thing.
我们要加赛一场 l'm talking about a dance of_
-你输定了 死胖子 -哦 把你的咪咪亮出来啊 - you're going down, fatty. - oh, bring it on, sugar tits.
首先有请坎迪 First up, candy!
别生气 姑娘 Don't get mad, girl.
哦 这样可不好 Oh, that is not nice.
哦 哥们 你输定了 你输定了 Oh, man, you can't beat that. you can't beat that.
詹森... Jason!jason!jason!
詹森... Jason!jason!jason! jason!jason!
詹森... Jason!jason!jason!
我们的获胜者 就是我们的大詹森 We have a winner! big jason!
我不知道他们哪去了 L do not know where they are.
可能带些妞什么的回酒店了 - maybe they took a few groupies back to the hotel or something. -
是我的原因还是天气变凉了 Is it me or is it freezing?
恩 我们回去吧 你想走了吗 Um, we can go. you-you wanna go?
-好的 走吧 -好 - yeah, let's go. - all right.
-嘿 罗恩刚才和伊娃一起走了 -太好了 - hey, hey. ron just left with eva. - perfect.
为了确保成功 把这儿的人都弄到房间去 Just to be sure, get evey hot piece of ass here back to the suite.
好的 嘿 我该怎么跟他们说啊 Okay. hey, what should l tell them?
这还用我教? L don't give a shit.
你给我搞定 不然就自己走回克利夫兰吧 get it done or you're gonna be walking back to cleveland.
-知道了吗 -好的 - all right? - okay.
谢谢 哥们 我一直梦想着得到这个 Yeah. thanks, bro. man, l've always wanted one of these.
伙计们 伙计们 Guys! guys!
过来 哦 感谢上帝 感谢上帝 Come here. oh, thank god. thank god!
你们根本不知道我有多惨 You have no idea what l've been through.
把我从这个满是衣原体的闷锅里弄出去 help me get me out of this chlamydia stew!
拜托 哥们 come on, man!
我发誓 要是再让我遇到个这样的白痴 L swear to god, if l see any more man junk on this trip,
我一定把我眼睛挖出来 l'm gonna gouge my eyes out.
-现在知道谁比较白痴了吧 -自己找个妞吧 - who's the degenerate now? - okay? get a girlfriend.
-你们不是吧 -或者找个西瓜 - areyou serious? - get a watermelon.
你们不是吧 嘿 回来 Areyou serious? hey, come on!
我觉得我的一个蛋蛋已经没了 L- l think l lost a ball!
嘿 伙计们 看哪 一个热气腾腾的澡盆 Hey, fellas, look, a hot tub.
我很担心你 还有 我爱你 知道吗 L'm worried about you, and l love you. okay?
好了 再见 Okay, good-bye.
-真奇怪 -什么 - that was weird. - what?
我爸爸 我们今天吵架了... My dad. we had a fight today...
而他竟然道歉了 这是他第一次道歉 And he actually apologized, which is a first.
嘿 司机 这里附近有卡拉OK店吗 Hey, driver, are there anykaraoke bars around here?
下来 有人请我们去贾斯汀·蒂姆雷克酒店的房间 Get down here! this guy just invited us to justin timberlake's hotel room!
恭喜杰夫获得一年无性生活的奖章 Congratulations to jeff for earning his one-year chip!
接下来 有请贝蒂 她获得半年奖章 And next up, we have betty who has earned her six-month chip.
快过来啊 贝蒂 Come on up here, betty!
打扰一下 这是蒂姆布雷克的狂欢酒会吗 Excuse me. is this the timberlake orgy?
-恩 不是 恐怕不是 -对不起 - um, no, afraid not. - sory.
贝蒂 你去哪 贝蒂 等等 Betty? where areyou? betty? wait!
不 别走 你们一定要克制住你们的欲望 No, don't go! you must avoid your lust triggers!
-贾斯汀 - -justin!
哇 你好像很紧张啊 Wow. you look tense.
恩 是啊 真是个紧张的周末 我问你 Uh, yeah, yeah. it's been a tense weekend. let me ask you something.
单身派对就是让某人说服单身汉 Ls a bachelor party the last chance for someone to convince the bachelor...
最后一次犯一个大错误吗 That they're making a huge mistake? is that it?
我不知道 你认为呢 L don't know. areyou?
-什么 犯错吗 -是啊 - what? making a mistake? - yeah.
我不知道 我没有吧 I don't know. l- l don't think so.
你没有? 那好 如果那不是真爱 我不知道那是什么 You don't think so? well, ifthat's not true love, l don't know what is.
好 那以你超凡的智慧... Okay, well, in your infinite wisdom...
也许你能告诉我 怎么知道你未婚夫就是你的真命天子呢 Maybe you can tell me how do you know that your fianc?is the one?
我从来都没说过他是我的真命天子 L never said he was.
那么 那你为什么要答应他 Well, why did you say ''yes''?
我想 可能是因为他向我求婚吧 Cause he asked, l guess.
瞧 我的婚期可还没敲定呢 Look, l'm not the one with the wedding date.
人生苦短 我必须确定自己不会犯错 Life is short and l want to be sure.
-我爱迈阿密 -索尼 - l love miami. - sonny.
哦 嘿 贝蒂 Oh. hey, betty.
我有一些朋友 她们急需你的抚慰 So, l've got a few friends that are in need of your expertise.
-哦 好吧 -好 过来 姑娘们 - oh. well, okay. - all right. come on, girls.
我不知道 贝蒂 我是说 我的老二真的很累 L don't know, betty. l mean, my penis is really tired.
等你老二死了 自然就能休息了 your cock can sleep when it's dead.
-懂了吗 -对 - okay? - yeah, yeah. yeah!
-好 我们去大干一场 -哦 太好了 - okay. yeah, let's do this! - oh, good!
好 右转第一间卧室 Okay, first bedroom on the right.
耶 我等不及了 金发高妹 做好准备 Yeah, l can't wait. tall. blonde. you're getting it.
我们走 我先出去了 Here you go. l'm outta here. witness the sickness!
嗨 拿去植点发吧 Hey. go get some hair plugs.
拜托 罗恩在哪儿 Come on. where's ron?
我的天哪 My god!
我知道她们是性爱狂 但是 拜托 - l know they're sex addicts, but come on! -
有人见过一个孩子吗 你见过一个孩子吗 You guys seen a kid, huh? anybody, you seen a kid?
你见过一个孩子吗 You seen a kid?
-嘿 塞思 -嘿 - hey, seth. - hey.
-哥们 你怎么从那热澡盆里出来的 -我不想说 - how'd you get out of the hot tub, man? - l don't want to talk about it.
塞巴斯蒂安 米特 这是德里克 Sebastian and meat, this is derek.
德里克 这是塞巴斯蒂安和米特 Derek, sebastian, meat.
你有看到过汤米吗 Haveyou seen, uh- seen tommy an_here?
-没有 不好意思 -你呢 米特 - no, sory. - meat?
好吧 哥们 看到的话告诉我 汤米 All right. let me know, man. tommy?
我要洗个历史上时间最长的澡 Well, l'm gonna take the longest shower in recorded histoy.
你们自便吧 Makeyourselves at home.
汤米 Tommy!
汤米 你上哪去啦 Tommy. where have you been?
我担心死你了 你穿着什么啊 I've been so worried aboutyou. what areyou wearing?
-你这位朋友是谁 -爸爸 这是索尼娅·赫尔南德斯·墨菲 - who's your friend? - dad, this is sonia hernandez murphy.
墨菲 好的 真是太巧了 和我老婆同姓 Murphy. okay, okay. yeah, same last name. small world.
老爸 她就是你昨晚娶的女人 Dad, this is the woman you married last night.
哦 天哪 我很抱歉 Oh, my god! l'm so sory.
我没认出你 你知道昨晚 L didn't recognizeyou. you see, last night-
你晕了 - you were hammered. -
见到你很高兴 Lt's so good to seeyou!
好的 Okay, okay.
汤米 我能和你谈谈吗 Yeah. uh, tommy, can l seeyou for a sec?
失陪一下索尼娅 Excuse me, sonia.
你是怎么找到她的 How did you find her?
我去了几个KTV L checked out a couple karaoke bars.
什么? KTV? What? karaoke bars?
老爸 你喜欢K歌 妈妈也喜欢 Dad, you love karaoke. mom loves karaoke.
你其他前妻也喜欢 那第四个肯定不会例外 So doyour other ex-wives. so whywould number four be any different?
听着 她是健身教练 Now listen. she's an aerobics instructor...
喜欢梅乐红酒 讨厌抽烟 她还在家里养迈阿密海豚 Loves merlot, hates smoking, and her family owns the miami dolphins.
-这是真的吗 -她是富婆 - holy shit. really? - yeah, she's loaded.
不要再搞砸了 去和她来聊聊吧 So don't blow this. now go talk toyourwife.
-索尼娅 - sonia! -
真干净整齐啊 It's so clean and organized.
还真是典型的德国风格 Lt's so german.
老天 Oh, my god.
塞思 Seth!
葛达 你好 我只是想借一些消毒水 Gerda. hi. l was...just gonna borrow some purell.
这不是你想像的那样的 我只是... No, it's not- it's not what it looks like. l was-
-哦 塞思 -不 - oh, seth! - no!
-塞思 来吧 -好的 - oh, seth, yes! - okay.
我还从没结过婚 Well, l-l- l've never been married...
所以我对这个没什么太多的经验 So l don't have a lot ofexperience with this subject matter.
但是和梅尔 But with mel...
感觉一直很好 Thingsjust feel right.
这样如何 What about this?
-感觉好吗 -恩 但是 想喝一杯吗 - does this feel right? - uh- l, um- l, uh-who needs a drink?
好的 干杯 Yes, let's have a toast.
-好的 -为短展的一生 - oh, yeah. - to life being short.
等等 我们不能这样 Wait, wait, wait, wait. we-we can't-we can't do this.
我知道我所选择的是对的 L know that what l'm doing is right.
我很肯定梅尔才是我的唯一 And mel is the one for me. l'm sure ofthat.
我知道你的未婚夫 And l know thatyour fianc?..
是一个无比幸运的男人 Is an incredibly lucky man...
能够娶到像你这么好的女人 To be marying an amazing woman like- likeyou.
-对不起 -不 不需要要道歉 - l'm sory. - don't. please, don't apologize.
我要道歉 因为我没有要结婚 Yes, l-l should because l'm- l'm not getting married.
我根本不是什么好女人 And l'm far from an amazing woman.
但是你是一个真正的男人 Butyou're a really good guy...
不像你兄弟托德那样 Unlikeyour buddytodd.
什么 What?
老天 Jesus!
-塞思 塞思 -我要死了 - oh, seth! seth! - l'm going to hell!
我要爽死了 对不起了 奶奶 L'm going to hell, but it's okay. l'm sory, grandma!
我对不起你 - t'm so sory! -
-天哪 -爽 - oh, god! - yeah! yeah! yeah!
你们在干什么 罗恩人呢 What areyou doing here? where's ron?
在沙滩上睡着了 任务完成 Sleeping it offon the beach. mission accomplished.
真的吗 证据给我 Really? well, l need proof.
我拍了很多照片 Oh, l've got it. pictures galore.
太好了 拿出来看看 Excellent. let's see.
我们是现在看照片 还是 We could do that now, or...
先庆祝一下 You and l could celebrate.
比利 Billy.
出去 Leave now.
哦 对了 By the way...
我喜欢野的 - - l like to get wild.
你也喜欢 对吗 托德 You like to get wild, don'tyou, todd?
嘿 计们 Hey, fellas.
喝 喝 喝... Drink! drink! drink! drink! drink! drink!
耶 万岁 - - mazel tov!
她去那里了 Where is she going?
回家了 我告诉她明天去办理离婚 She went home. l told her l'd see her tomorrow at the annulment.
你不要她了 她这么好 You're not gonna stay with her? she's perfect!
我知道 我告诉她 L know that, buddy, but l told her...
在克利夫兰我还有很多重要的事情要做 L've got a couple offew vey important things back in cleveland.
你太蠢了 她可是个富婆 That was stupid. she's rich!
放松点 我们还会约会的 You gotta relax, okay? we're still dating.
那将是长期的那种关系 we're gonna do the long-distance thing.
我还不至于那么傻好不好 等一下 L'm not that stupid. right? hang on a sec.
我说的吧 他棒极了 See, he was wondemul.
打搅一下 女士们 Excuse me, ladies.
我本不想问这个 Hi. l, uh- l hate to ask this...
詹森到底... But what exactly isjason's-
对不起 是索尼到底有什么过人之处 Uh, sonny's secret?
瑞科 我不知道怎么说 那是上帝的恩赐 L don't know what to tell you, rico. it's a god-given talent.
-他就像圣母特里萨 -等一下 - he's like motherteresa. - wait a minute.
在床上的圣母特里萨 He's like motherteresa in the sack?
是的 我希望他能多待些时候 Yeah, he is. l just wish he was staying longer.
我们有太多的人需要他的治疗 There are so many more ofus that need to be cured.
治疗 那个家伙唯一能做的就是烤火腿 Cured? the only thing that guy could cure is a ham!
我是个性爱狂 试了所有的方法 L've been a sex addict all my life. l have tried eveything.
甚至是电疗休克疗法 都没用 直到和他做了 Even electroshock therapy. nothing worked... until l slept with sonny.
我开始感到 恶心 Lt was so- foul.
我甚至不想再做爱了 他是个天使 L don't think l'll ever have sex again! he's an angel.
是的 他确实是个天使 Hey, he is an angel.
-谢谢女士们 -不用谢 - well, thanks, ladies. - yeah, sure.
他是个天使 He's an angel.
哇 我真是精疲力竭了 Whoo! l am wiped out.
那些围着我的小妞多得像参加斯坦利杯 Man, those chicks were passing me around like the stanley cup in there.
-我想也是 你真可怜 -索尼·克罗基特你棒极了 - l bet theywere, you pathetic- - sonny crockett, you're the man.
我只是尽力而为 我要找些喝的补充水分 Ah, l do my best. now, l gotta find a little beverage, replenish my fluids.
去吧 Yeah.
我只想再给他介绍一个 L was gonna rip him a new one.
有些时候你应该让你兄弟得意得意 Sometimes you gotta letyour buddies have their little moment in the sun,
好吗 okay?
何况 我们可以永远用这个当笑料 And besides, we're gonna be able to hang this over him forever.
没错 Oh, yeah.
来吧 我们快点开始吧 Ooh. mmm, all right. come on. let's do this.
-还有一件事 -什么 - one more thing. - what?
你要干什么 What-what areyou doing?
知道吗 托德 你对我说的那些 我想了很多 Well, you know, todd, l thought a lot about whatyou said...
你是对的 And you were right.
-我想玩一次3P -我说的是2个女人 好吗 - l do want a threesome. - l meant two girls, okay?
是2个女人 Two girls! okay?
来吧 伙计 Come on, buddy.
你不是想勇往直前嘛 Don'tyou wanna go balls to the wall?
我不要 No, l-l- l don't.
猜猜怎么样了 我的弟弟没事了 Guess what eveybody. l'm free from my penis!
终于软下来了 太好了 L'm totally flaccid. it's great!
什么 你的马精液射完了 What, did your horse stif_juice run out?
还没有 Not exactly.
你要那玩意儿干吗 What areyou gonna do with that?
-哦 -塞思 - oh. - seth.
-来了来了 -你上了那个纳粹 - rar, rar, rar, rar. - you slept with the nazi?
她也有洁癖 就和我一样 She's a total neat freak, man,just like me.
我们想见是命中注定的 l t's like we were destined to meet.
-塞思你是犹太人 -我并不想做犹太人 太爽了 - seth, you're ajew. - a self-loathingjew. it's perfect!
你们有没有看见罗恩 Hey, have, uh, you guys seen ron?
天啊 Oh, god. oh, god.
罗恩 听着 这很好 Ron, listen, it's cool.
我喜欢你 这很好 可以了吗 但我不喜欢这样 Okay, it's cool. l likeyou. okay? this isjust- it's not my thing!
-求求你 -安静 - okay? -shh.
要想有特别的感觉 就得安静 Lfthis is going to be special, l need it to be silent.
天啊 Oh, god.
天啊 听我说 Oh, god, no. no, listen. listen.
比利你看到 天哪 罗恩你再干什么 Hey, billy, haveyou seen- jesus christ! what the fuck, ron?
什么 不 不是你想像的那样的 What? what? no, it's not what it looks like.
托德想拆散我和梅尔 Todd was tying to break mel and l up...
他担心我会取代他在梅尔老爸公司的位置 Because he was worried l was gonna replace him at mel's dad's company.
我就没想要那工作 白痴 我只要梅尔 L don't even want thejob, you dumb shit! all l want is mel.
所以你要用强奸来报复他 So in retaliation you decided to rape him?
我能理解 L can respect that.
伙计们 好像这里才是真正的派对 Hey, fellas, looks like the real party's in here.
这里有什么安全协议吗 So, is there an agreed upon safe word orwhat?
不是你们想像的那样 - - it's notwhatyou think.
-梅尔 - mel. -
你让我恶心 You are sick.
不是你想像的 等等 托德陷害我 L- no, no, wait! it's not whatyou think. todd set me up!
-等等 亲爱的 - wait, no. honey! hey! -
不 No.
他到底在说什么 What the hell is he talking about?
问问他就知道了 Ask him.
-梅尔 - mel! -
梅尔 Mel!
等等 Wait,wait,waitt hangon!
托德设计了这一切要陷害罗恩 对不起 So he set this whole thing up to get ron to cheat. sory.
操你 Fuckyou.
-真的吗 -亲爱的 他在撒谎 - is this true? - sweetheart, he's- he's lying.
比利 你他妈的被开除了 You are so fucking fired, billy!
是吗 我为你做了这么多 Really, huh? after all l've done.
几年来他一直在私底下卡公司的油 He's been skimming offthe top foryears and sleeping with angela in
还和财务部的那个安吉拉有染 accounting.
她对他发火 我去买冰激凌讨好她 She gave him crabs. l bought the cream.
-胡说 -混蛋 - bullshit! - bastard!
好了 大家都出去 Okay, eveybody out ofthe room.
-奥腾 亲爱的 -都给我出去 - now, autumn, honey- - I said out now.l
-财务的安吉拉 -宝贝 听我解释 - angela in accounting! - baby, l can explain.
-看着我 你个王八蛋 - look at me! you son ofa bitch!
梅尔 Mel!
她是我的未婚妻 是个大误会 Lt's my fianc閑. it's all a big misunderstanding.
-拉住 我们抄近路 - hang on! we're taking a shortcut! -
小心 - look out! look out! -
梅尔 Mel! mel!
抓住方向盘 Take the wheel!
梅尔我们谈谈 -走开 - mel, let's talk. - leave me alone!
罗恩 Ron!
-罗恩 -梅尔 听我说 - ron! - mel! mel! mel, listen.
听我说 托德认为我会取代他的位置 Listen, listen, listen. todd thought l was going to take hisjob.
-所以设计陷害我 -他什么? - he wanted to get rid ofme, so he's tried to set me up. - he what?
那你在他房里干什么 我都看到了 - - what wereyou doing in that room? l sawyou!
我们只想吓唬他 就是这样而已 We werejust tying to scare him, that's all! that's all we were doing.
梅尔你了解我 你知道我爱你 Mel, you know me. and you know that l loveyou.
你知道我不会骗你的 and l would never cheat on you.
你知道吗 这个周末 Come on. listen! this-this weekend...
我所听到的都是叫我们不要结婚 L have heard nothing- nothing but reasons whywe should not get married.
你知道 他们说这个来的太快了 You know, that it's-it's- it's too soon...
说婚姻是坟墓 That marriage is a dead institution...
说高尔夫只打一个洞会很无聊 That golfis boring ifyou play only one hole the rest ofyour life.
你在说什么 What areyou talking about?
我不知道 L don't know!
听我说 我是说 Look, look. listen, listen. what l mean is this.
不管别人和我说些什么 What l'm tying to say is that no matter what anyone else tells me...
我所想的都是下一次看你眼神时的情景 All l can think about is the next time l get to stare intoyour eyes.
如果在我今后人生的每一天都能这样 And ifl get a chance to do that eveyday for the rest ofmy life...
对我来说人生就很完美了 That sounds like a pretty good deal to me.
-我准备好了私奔 -你准备好了 - l'm ready to elope. - you're ready to-
我厌倦了做准新娘了 我想和你私奔 L'm sick ofthis bride-to-be stuff. l'm ready to elope.
你是认真的吗 Okay. areyou-areyou serious?
我想德里克知道一个地方我们能去 Cause l think derek actually knows a place that- that we can- could go.
我知道有个人能帮我们 L am-actually, l think l know someone who can help us.
罗恩你愿意娶梅林达为你合法妻子吗 Doyou, ron, take melinda to be your lawfullywedded wife?
-我愿意 -梅林达你愿意 - l do. - doyou, melinda...
嫁给罗恩为他的合法妻子吗 Take ron to be yourlawfullywedded husband?
我愿意 L do.
太棒了 罗恩 Way to go, ron!
-对不起梅尔 -没事 - sory, mel. - it's okay.
我以福罗里达州赋予我的权利 By the powervested in me and the state of florida...
宣布你们结为夫妻 L now pronounce you man and wife.
哥们儿 你可以亲吻你的新娘了 You may kiss your bride, papi.
感谢上帝 我饿了 Oh, thank god. l'm starving.
我也是 我真想吃比萨饼 Yeah, l could really go for a pizza.
你喜欢比萨饼 You like pizza?
-你们好 欢迎 - -aloha, welcome!
你也好 我们要入住罗德斯预定蜜月套房 Aloha back atya. last name rhodes, checking into the honeymoon suite!
对不起 女士 L'm sory, ma'am.
蜜月套房被另外一对夫妻预定了 it appears the honeymoon suite is booked for another party.
再查查 是我的蜜月 Well, check again. it's my honeymoon!
加尔文 告诉这个人你订了蜜月套房 Calvin, tell this man you made the reservation in the honeymoon suite.
-宝贝 事情是这样的 -不要叫我宝贝 - baby, the thing is- - don'tyou ''baby'' me!
我等了整整17年了 L didn't wait 1 7 years...
怎么能不在蜜月套房里度蜜月 To not have my honeymoon in the honeymoon suite.
嗨 入住蜜月套房 西蒙斯预定的 Hi. checking into the honeymoon suite. last name simmons.
你 You-
王八蛋 You son ofa bitch!
你好 真是太巧了 Hey, you. small world, huh?
我要杀了你 L'm gonna kill you!
别过来 退后 你疯了吗 No, get back! get back! you are nuts!
-站住 王八蛋 -梅尔 - get over here, you son ofa bitch! - mel! mel!
-滚回来 Getyour ass over here!
你个王八蛋 You son ofa bitch!
-那是我的戒指 -那是我祖母的 - that's my ring! - that was my grandmother's ring!
-你胡说 -滚开 - you little shit! - get away from me!
你需要治疗 女士 You need some therapy, woman!